Friday, May 14, 2010


Well, there is nothing like miserable rainy misty weather to put people in a bad mood. I am not a person who stays that way for long, but other people are me are.
I am tired. Tired of so many things. Have you ever woke up in the morning to a grumpy significant other that has just destroyed any possibility of having a good day? That's how my day got started today. First thing, not even 6 am. There are days that all I want to do is sit and cry. Cry for dreams of better days and answers coming when they should. Cry for the life I wish I had. Not that my life is overly bad. I live in a great area, have wonderful and supportive friends, and I live the life I always wanted. It just seems completely empty to me this week. Nothing has gone right or on time, which has made Mr. Farmer absolutely miserable. I just don't what more I can do. I make the calls, I do my own complaining but I am still the one who ultimately pays the price. Days like today, I feel so very alone in the world. So small and insignificant.
The misty rain that is falling from the sky isn't helping my mood at all. Even the animals act off this morning, like they wanted to huddle up and not move. The chickens didn't even lay but two eggs by ten this morning when I usually have a dozen by now. I want the sun to come back out!
Today is going to be a thoughtful day, one when I remember the times when I have smiled and not been forced into so much stress that all I want to do is scream. I need to find something to lift my spirits, not sure how that is going to happen...but you can bet I will try.
I am tired of feeling like I am nothing...that I can't accomplish anything! I know that I can...I know that I just need to get it together and find the patience to deal with the situations at hand. It is just hard to do when you have someone slamming you into the ground every time they get a chance. Yeah, as you can tell, there are days that I hate my life, hate Mr. Farmer and unfortunately today seems to be one of those days. I just don't understand why I have had to struggle through every infinate detail of my life! Why can't one thing just go as planned and happen smoothly?
Enough of the drama......I have a ton of things to get done today before the weekend comes. I can already tell that this is not going to be a good weekend! *sigh*
I wish every one the best...may you find your dreams that God has planned for your life. God Bless you all for everything you have done for others.

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